Incorrectly addressed emails in blue, my responses in black.
Clement Contract
Hi Scott,
I just wanted to let you know that Brad did refund the sofa to the value of $2383 (ish), but I did see that they had a credit on their account of which I apportioned the two new contracts that you put in today.
I would still like you to speak to Brad regarding this sale and bring him up-to-speed on why the clients decided to refund the sofa with him and then re-purchase it with you. As you are aware, no HDA owns a customer so while you have quite an extensive file with this client, this alone is not reason enough for you to have this sale.
Once you have both sorted this out I would like you to update me on where things stand.
Thanks so much.
Stephanie
Hi Scott,
I just wanted to let you know that Brad did refund the sofa to the value of $2383 (ish), but I did see that they had a credit on their account of which I apportioned the two new contracts that you put in today.
I would still like you to speak to Brad regarding this sale and bring him up-to-speed on why the clients decided to refund the sofa with him and then re-purchase it with you. As you are aware, no HDA owns a customer so while you have quite an extensive file with this client, this alone is not reason enough for you to have this sale.
Once you have both sorted this out I would like you to update me on where things stand.
Thanks so much.
Stephanie
RE: Clement Contract
Look, I didn't get to be where I am by being nice. Sofa sales is a cut throat business, and don't think Brad wouldn't steal away my clients given half an opportunity. It's the law of the jungle, my friend - and Brad knows this as well as I do. The next time Brad comes crying to you over a sale he lost to me, tell him to get used to it.
Honestly, maybe Brad isn't cut out for this business.
P.S. You have the wrong Scott Schafer. I do not sell sofas.
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ABBEY Product Knowledge!
Honestly, maybe Brad isn't cut out for this business.
P.S. You have the wrong Scott Schafer. I do not sell sofas.
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ABBEY Product Knowledge!
Hi all,
Please come in at 8:30AM JULY 9th, for a PK on this new hard window products line. If you are scheduled to be off-it is in your best interest to be there. I hope to see everyone there and will bring in breakfast---bring your own coffee. It will be held in the design dept.
Thanks all!
Laura
Chintz & Company
Vancouver
RE: ABBEY Product Knowledge!
Bring your own coffee - are you kidding me? The old man must be spinning in his grave. He understood that this business runs on caffeine and adrenaline. I never saw him without a cup of steaming mud in his nicotine stained hands - even when he was on the can. Sure, his yellow teeth and sour breath made some customers uncomfortable, but he always closed the deal. Even if they looked a little frightened, his closure rate was the best in the business.
He looked like eighty when he kicked it at fifty, but retirement wouldn't have suited him anyway.
P.S. You have the wrong Scott Schafer. I do not sell sofas.
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Hi Scott Schafer!!!
Thankyou so much for dinner last night is was super yummy! Im sure your
enjoying the day, its another beautiful one. Its gonna be another long
day by the looks of it here so far. Kathy has been on my case about her
book that she needs back so I told her I would email you and ask for it.
Well if I dont see or talk to you before Friday I'll see ya at the beach!
Bye for now.........................Dena
Thankyou so much for dinner last night is was super yummy! Im sure your
enjoying the day, its another beautiful one. Its gonna be another long
day by the looks of it here so far. Kathy has been on my case about her
book that she needs back so I told her I would email you and ask for it.
Well if I dont see or talk to you before Friday I'll see ya at the beach!
Bye for now.........................Dena
RE: Hi Scott Schafer!!!
YOU - AND OTHER EMPLOYEES OF CHINTZ - HAVE THE WRONG EMAIL ADDRESS.
My name is Scott Schafer, but I do not work at Chintz. I live in California and write software for a living. While I'm mildly entertained by all the personal and confidential emails I've been getting addressed to the other Scott Schafer, this really, really needs to stop.
Please find out your Scott Schafer's proper email address and inform him that his colleagues have been sending emails to the wrong address (that is, mine).
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Hello. My name is Elizabeth and I’m Steve’s assistant here at SMI. I was hoping you might be able to give me some info on how much classes might be, and when you would have some time available.
As well where would you paint? I remember Steve mentioned that you have a studio but…
I would appreciate any info you could provide. Thank you so much,
Elizabeth
Vancouver phone #
As well where would you paint? I remember Steve mentioned that you have a studio but…
I would appreciate any info you could provide. Thank you so much,
Elizabeth
Vancouver phone #
RE: Steve Curtis would like to take some lessons with you
Dear Elizabeth,
Thank you for your inquiry. My fee for individual lessons is $1 for the first session, and doubling each session after that ($2, $4, etc). I require a minimum of twenty lessons.
You asked about my studio. Having explored and exhausted the limits of the conventional rectangular canvas, I have made the world both my studio AND my canvas. I paint wherever and whatever strikes my fancy: retaining walls, post boxes, trees, park benches (and their sleeping occupants). My current series is called "Fleshing the Bones", in which I have filled the chalk outlines at murder scenes with organic and inorganic forms, including fruits, insects and pistons.
As you can no doubt tell, I am involved in exciting work that pushes both artistic and legal boundaries. While I have never yet taken on a student, I believe Steve would learn much under my tutelage, and frankly I could use another watchful pair of eyes.
Finally, I've heard tell of another painter named Scott Schafer in the Vancouver area. While I believe he is engaged in far more pedestrian work, I suppose he is talented enough. If you had meant to to contact this Scott Schafer instead, I suggest you recheck your email addressing. Otherwise, I look forward to Steve starting his lessons with me.
Tell Steve to wear black clothing and - most importantly - sneakers.
Respectfully yours,
Scott Schafer
Sausalito, California
RE: RE: Steve Curtis would like to take some lessons with you
First, let me say “thank you” for putting the biggest smile on my face this morning. You, Sir, are hilarious.
Indeed I did get the address wrong, as the Scott from Vancouver (whom I’m thinking is not possibly as interesting as yourself) has a “y” at the end of his name, making him not only boring but possibly a fruitcake. :P
Second, are you really a graph writer? Cause believe me I’ve dressed in black, ran back alleys, kept 6 and know the difference in tips.
Jose
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Jose
Was fun spending time with you. Hope to see you again. Hugs, Keith.
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Back in the fall I drove by Parkside Dr. and saw some of your art. We particulariarly liked the paintings of white birch trees in the fall, and were wondering if you may have some of those already made. Or if possible if you could make two paintings similar to the ones we saw in the fall. We took a picture. We do need big paintings... One should be about 5 feet x 3 feet, and the other 4 feet by 2.5 feet. Or if you are willing to come by our house to discuss this, that would be great.
Rui
Hi Rui,
Thank you for an interest in my art. It's good that you need large paintings. Owing to a severe case of hyperopia, or farsightedness, I've had to stand farther and farther away from my paintings just to see them. This has forced me to increase both the length of my brush handles and the size of my canvases dramatically. My current works are over thirty feet wide, and to be honest, my condition is getting worse. Instead of the 5 x 3 foot painting you requested, would you consider a significantly larger one: say 50 by 30 feet?
However, I don't think I've ever painted pictures of white birch trees, nor have I ever exhibited on Parkside Drive. My oeuvre tends to run more towards crying clowns. It's possible that you might have me confused with the fine painter Scotty Schafer, at scottyschafer@gmail.com.
If you do need an enormous painting of a weepy Bobo the Clown, please let me know, and the sooner the better. My paintings are only getting bigger, and canvas prices are starting to go up - no doubt, due in some part to my prolific output.
- Scott
Hi Scott,
Ive attached two pictures for your website. As you can see, the art looks great on the wall!
Also, R and I would like to get the other painting too.
R is out tonight, but can we come by at a time that suits us all to purchase it? Maybe one evening this week if you're available.
Dear Ms. Wilson,
Thank you for sending me the pictures of my art on your walls. If you don't mind terribly, I'd like to offer you a suggestion. Please immediately throw acid on that painting, burn it, rip the canvas from the frame for your dog to chew on, it or slash it into ribbons with razor blades. If you have any concept of mercy, you will end my torment and do it now, because I can already see the massive rip the door handle will create the minute that door is opened.
Is there a square foot of wall space in your house that's not immediately next to a window or door? My work was very nearly shown in the Guggenheim, you know, if it hadn't been for that awful Khalid Sheikh Mohammed fellow.
I can tell you when you can pick up my other painting: never. At least, not until you demonstrate that you can provide a proper setting for the stirrings of my soul. I offered you something rare and sublime, a glimpse outside the cave of shadows where we all dwell. This isn't just a bit of paint and fabric to brighten up a forsaken corner.
My words may come as a bit of a shock to you, so I must let you know that you have the wrong email address. I'm not the painter of these paintings, or really a painter at all. You might want to suggest to him that he gets a more unique email address, because I've gotten maybe twenty emails meant for him over the years, going back to when he used to sell sofas for a living.
- Scott, the writer not the painter
P.S. Nice paintings!
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Ive attached two pictures for your website. As you can see, the art looks great on the wall!
Also, R and I would like to get the other painting too.
R is out tonight, but can we come by at a time that suits us all to purchase it? Maybe one evening this week if you're available.
Dear Ms. Wilson,
Thank you for sending me the pictures of my art on your walls. If you don't mind terribly, I'd like to offer you a suggestion. Please immediately throw acid on that painting, burn it, rip the canvas from the frame for your dog to chew on, it or slash it into ribbons with razor blades. If you have any concept of mercy, you will end my torment and do it now, because I can already see the massive rip the door handle will create the minute that door is opened.
Is there a square foot of wall space in your house that's not immediately next to a window or door? My work was very nearly shown in the Guggenheim, you know, if it hadn't been for that awful Khalid Sheikh Mohammed fellow.
I can tell you when you can pick up my other painting: never. At least, not until you demonstrate that you can provide a proper setting for the stirrings of my soul. I offered you something rare and sublime, a glimpse outside the cave of shadows where we all dwell. This isn't just a bit of paint and fabric to brighten up a forsaken corner.
My words may come as a bit of a shock to you, so I must let you know that you have the wrong email address. I'm not the painter of these paintings, or really a painter at all. You might want to suggest to him that he gets a more unique email address, because I've gotten maybe twenty emails meant for him over the years, going back to when he used to sell sofas for a living.
- Scott, the writer not the painter
P.S. Nice paintings!
